


Physics

by EnterpriseCaptain



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Academy Era, Gen, Science, Starfleet Academy, accurate science is actually accurate, kirk is a dumbass
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-17
Updated: 2014-08-17
Packaged: 2018-02-13 12:40:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2151081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnterpriseCaptain/pseuds/EnterpriseCaptain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kirk is in Physics class when he notices an issue with one of the problems on the board. Naturally, he can't let it slide, and soon he's battling it out at the chalkboard.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Physics

**Author's Note:**

> i'd like to point out that all of the science in this fic is correct, i pulled it from my Astrophysics notes. just saying.

Christ, Modern Physics for Starfleet Officers was boring. 

Kirk slumped down to rest his head on his textbook, which he regretted bringing to the lecture that day. It hadn’t done jack shit in terms of helping him.

Sneaking his communicator out of his pocket, he held it in his lap to rapidfire IM Bones, his fingers tapping out a practiced rhythm broken only by his wait for replies.

_bossasscaptain314: dude. you gotta help me. Dr. Boerner’s talking me to sleep again. how does he make stuff this cool sound so boring???_

_hypohappyjerk21: I don’t know why you’re even in that class, it’s not a requirement for Command Officers. Oh, and how the hell did you change my username? The account’s password protected!_

_bossasscaptain314: not very well. and to answer your question, im in it b/c its fun. at least the subject is._

_hypohappyjerk21: Ha ha, very funny, change it back._

_bossasscaptain314: no. entertain me._

_hypohappyjerk21: You are a grown man in a physics class you don’t even need to take. Entertain yourself._

_bossasscaptain314: wait_

_bossasscaptain314: hang on i gotta go this guy’s making a huge error in his math_

_hypohappyjerk21: JIM_

_hypohappyjerk21: JIM NO_

_hypohappyjerk21: JIM I SWEAR TO GOD_

_bossasscaptain314 has disconnected._

_hypohappyjerk21: Shit._

Sliding his communicator back into the pocket it came from, Kirk took another look at the scrawled letters on the board to make sure he was right, and once he was sure, he raised his hand.

The sudden noise of 126 other people turning their heads to look at the freshman - who not only had the audacity to be IN the class but also to RAISE HIS HAND - was a little intimidating.

Dr. Boerner was still talking, so Kirk took the mild risk of clearing his throat.

Dr. Boerner, now pretty much incapable of ignoring the upstart in row 10, lowered his chalk and turned with the air of a man who felt he was really not getting paid enough for this shit.

Honestly, Kirk could understand that. He had a lot of sympathy for people employed in the education industry.

Mostly because he was a pain in the ass and he knew it.

However, he also knew that the problem at the top of the left board was wrong, and he didn’t think it was intentional.

With a loud sigh, the professor turned to face Kirk. The room was now dead silent, and everyone was staring at the pretty boy twirling a pencil in his hand like the world owed him… well, the world.

“Mr. Kirk, isn’t it?”

“You’re not wrong.”

“Can I help you?”

“Sir, problem four is unsolvable. At least, the way it’s written.”

“Really.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, Mr. Kirk, you may think you know what you’re talking about, but I can assure you that problem four is quite solvable; and I have a degree to back it up, whereas you yourself seem to have no qualifications to make this statement barring a smart mouth and a misunderstanding of physics as a whole.”

Turning back to the board, Dr. Boerner raised the chalk again, but before he could begin writing, the silence was broken again by the same confident voice.

“Sir. I’ll prove it.”

Dr. Boerner took a deep breath and faced Kirk again, holding his chalk as if he were preparing to throw it.

“Prove it. Really?”

“Yep. Right here, right now.”

Boerner sighed again. Kirk was beginning to see a pattern with his professors.

“Sir, I get it. You’re not getting paid enough for this shit. Believe me, I get it. But trust me when I say that problem four is unsolvable. And I can prove it. Hell, if I’m wrong, I’ll clean your lecture hall for a week and buy chalk for a month, and trust me you can hold me to that, but at least let me try.”

There was a moment of expectant silence as the room turned its focus to the professor, seeing how he would handle this development.

After a few beats, he held out the chalk in a silent challenge. Kirk leapt out of his chair in immediate acceptance, already talking.

“Well, sir, the way you’ve written it, with mr-f, mf, Fdrag, X+, and the lack of gravity as the only known values, it’s unsolvable. Now, stop me if I’m wrong, but you’d begin with equating –kv2 to dm/dt v + dv/dt m, yes?"

Kirk was scribbling frantically, handwriting barely readable, the attention of the room held at the rapidly changing point where white touched green and created… science.

“Well, given that dm/dt can also be written as m dot –“ he addressed Boerner for a moment “you know that, sir, it’s basic notation – and knowing that m is actually a function of time, we can then rewrite the equation and shuffle some terms around.”

He garnered a few chuckles at his offhand vernacular in describing calculus, but so far, Dr. Boerner grudgingly admitted, he was right.

“Now, sir, if you take this a few steps farther, you end up with –“ he drew a large circle around one of his equations “THIS as your final answer, but as you can see, this is a bit of an issue.”

He stood back and gestured at the board as if the problem should be obvious, but all anyone else saw was a collection of symbols.

“Mr. Kirk, you’ve outdone yourself. Congratulations, you solved the problem. I’ll write down my chalk brand for you.”

“No, no no sir, you don’t get it. This is why it’s unsolvable, at least with these values. Look. LOOK. Sir, we’ve put dv/dt on one side of the equation with m dot and v as a function of time on the other side.” 

The professor simply shrugged and smiled as if this was further proving his point.

Kirk sighed dramatically.

“SIR, dv/dt is acceleration. But what is acceleration? A change in velocity. But look at what’s on the right side of the equation. m dot and v as a function of time.”

The smile began slipping off of Dr. Boerner’s face.

“Sir. If you solve this problem as written, the answer is defined in terms of itself. I don’t know about you, but that doesn’t seem like much of a solution.”

There was the brief sound of a pen falling to the floor and breaking, before the entire lecture hall burst into applause.


End file.
